REDNECK GAY HATER WANTS SCIENTISTS TO ‘GET RID OF RAINBOWS’

With gay marriage now legal in all 50 states and rainbow flags (the universal symbol for gay pride) flying all over the country, one man who makes it a point to destroy every rainbow flag and spray paint over rainbow bumper stickers he sees, now wants to destroy actual rainbows.

“I used to like seeing a rainbow in nature, ” Buddy Jones told Confederate News. “Now all I see is a symbol for faggotry. Makes me sick to my tummy to see a rainbow in the sky. I want to destroy them because they’re making me crazy and I think destroying rainbows will really get on queer’s nerves, but I don’t know how to kill rainbows myself.”

That’s where Jones wants scientists to step in and help.

“I know a lot of scientists are fag sympathizers,” Jones said. “But there are some good Christian scientists out there who could use their scientific smarts to destroy rainbows. Scientists can build talking robots and send people into deep space, how hard could it be to destroy rainbows?”

Jones is calling out scientists to take up his rainbow destroying cause.

“Maybe scientists could build a laser gun that instantly blows up rainbows,” Jones said. ‘I don’t know. I just think this is an important cause. Queers took rainbows from us and made them their own, now we gotta show them there are consequences to what they did. And think about this: How long before some other sicko group takes something cool from nature? Like clouds or something. We gotta destroy rainbows now.”