32-year-old Brian Norway from England United Kingdom claims to hold the secret to weight loss without any diet or exercise and says this is the safest easiest method available on the black market.

“All I do is see my local drug dealer Barry Crabs once a day and buy some crack cocaine and then I use my secret weapon ‘Coke Cola’ … I mix the crack with 2 Litres of Coke Cola and drink 1 cup every 4 hours” Say’s Brian

“With this simple method I can eat as much as I want and still lose weight, I have lost over 300 pound in 2 months, This is better than any diet or exerciser routine I have tried and I have been trying to lose weight for 2 years”


Medical professional Steven Knowsley has huge concerns with Brian’s weight loss using the crack cocaine method but admits the results are ‘outstanding’ for someone like Brian who has a natural high body mass index and a very slow metabolism.


Brian’s wife Julie Foil stands by his diet saying “Crack cocaine has its benefits, this was the only way he could lose his weight and now that he looks great we can finally get married and be happy … I told him there was no way in the world I could ever marry him if he was fat”.

“But I do hope he can stop taking crack now as it is causing arguments between us as he is spending all the child support money on drugs and we need that money to feed our 7 kids and I have another baby on the way… But I understand that every relationship has its up and downs so it’s something we will have to work on”.

Brian is the first man in history to use crack cocaine to aid weight loss. We do not recommend this method to anyone who is new to hard drugs or prone to alcohol addiction. – UK Medical Team.